Jesus Wept...and Snorted

Several months ago, I was attending a church service when one of the worship songs sparked a memory that flooded me with sorrow. I went to the restroom and made it into the stall before a huge sob escaped from my lungs. I was thankful that there was a speaker above my head, flooding the restroom with worship music, giving me a safe place to cry, hopefully where I'd be unheard by some compassionate woman who might knock on the door with an 'are you okay in there?' I wanted to be left alone.

The cry that came from me was so deep, groaning, and heavy that it actually gave me chest pains. I was not only flooded with sorrow over a situation, but also with what I'd like to call 'righteous anger' over that situation. I kept saying, "God, forgive me for being angry. How long? How long? How long will it take to stop feeling anger over the way some of YOUR people treat others? God, what is it about YOUR children that makes them so retarded? How can YOU let them be so stupid? Why don't YOU intervene the way I think You should? But God...please forgive me for my wrong attitudes. Why can't I seem to stop crying right now? Jesus...please talk to me."

I heard, almost audibly, "Jesus wept." I thought, "Well, of course, I know that story. He wept over Lazarus...and for the sorrow of Lazarus' family and friends." Again, I heard, "Jesus wept." A third time, "Jesus wept."

After I composed myself and dried my eyes, I went back into the church service. Worship ended and the pastor began to speak about such a deep sorrow and righteous anger that brought him to the word 'Ebrimaomai.' The pastor said, "Let's turn to the scriptures about Lazarus and explore the verse, 'Jesus wept.'" Wow! He had my attention. Ebrimaomai is the Greek word that was used in that section of scripture and it means, 'to snort, express indignant displeasure (with the notion of coercion springing out of displeasure, anger, indignation, antagonism) to snort like a horse...to be moved with anger, to admonish sternly. From 'en' and brimoamai--to snort with anger, to blame, to sigh with chagrin, sternly enjoin, straitly charge, and to groan.

I took comfort in those words I heard in the restroom, 'Jesus wept.' I realized that God was right there with me, fully understanding the righteous indignation and sorrow that I felt. Jesus sobbed his heart out, too. He snorted. I realized that Jesus was not only moved with compassion in Lazarus' situation, but by an indignation against the injustice of what should not be. So, that is why I cried. And we should all feel that level of indignation against the injustice of what should not be. That is why we were given the authority to go and release prisoners and captives as Jesus did, releasing the reality of His sacrifice, so that He gets what He paid for. He came to bring life, restoration and wholeness, and to counter the death, loss, and destruction that befell His creation...and He continues to release love even while people give themselves to that which opposes Him. That is courageous grace. It's no wonder He wept the way He did. I will remember and be moved by that cry every time I encounter that which should not be.