The Blessing of Arianna

My husband and I both have been burned out on ministry for some time and we've been questioning whether or not we have what it takes to reach out to others again. When one has been wounded, one tends to retreat and withdraw from people in order to protect their heart from further damage.

We just returned from a weekend of being with dear friends, who happen to be pastors. They lost their 5-year-old daughter in a tragic accident and we were amazed that in the midst of their pain and anguish, they were comforting others at the viewing. Even amidst moments of collapsing into a sobbing heap of turmoil and questions, they still stood and said, "I know that God is good and He is faithful. I don't understand why this happened, but He is worthy of praise, anyway."

Right before the funeral service, the dad bowed his head and said, "Lord, I just need to know that You are here and that You're crying with us." It was sunny outside and there was no rain in the forecast, yet, as soon as the service was over, we walked outside and it began to lightly sprinkle. The dad looked up and two raindrops fell on his cheek, and he knew that God was with them in their pain. Over and over, there were signs from God that He was present and that He would sustain them through the grief. There is surely some wild reason that He allowed this to happen and He gently reassured the family that He was in it all, and ultimately, ALL things will work together for good. But how?? I don't know, but it will.

On Sunday morning, the day after the funeral, the father stood and told the congregation that he didn't understand and that he does struggle with why God allowed his daughter's death, but he said that he knows God is more real now than ever. He committed to God to not remove his hand from the plow....to keep ministering and serving. My husband and I realized that we had no excuse not to minister to others. The pain we experienced in ministry does not compare to their experience. What we suffered, what my family suffered at the hands of so-called 'Christians' is so trivial compared to the loss of a child.

My husband was asked to do the funeral service and he also preached on Sunday morning for our friend. It was evident as he preached that he belongs behind the pulpit. I sat thinking, "He's anointed to do this. He was made for this. Dear God, strengthen us to answer Your call. Church people scare me. I don't want to give my heart to them. I hate betrayal." I figured that my friends must have felt a sense of being betrayed by God. Why didn't He protect their daughter? They have a right to be angry with Him, I would say. Yet, they still sang His praises and they are still walking where He leads. How can my husband and I do any less?

I just pray that their loss was not solely for the purpose of bringing us to such a realization. God forbid that our friends would have to suffer in order to teach us something. I'm sure that there is a much bigger reason, but God used Arianna's death to fan the flame of passion for people who are hurting, in our hearts.

My husband made a video of Arianna for the family. It ended with the song, 'Dancing With The Angels,' and her jumping on the trampoline in slow motion, soaring in the air with the biggest smile on her face. Her bright, blue eyes looked piercingly into the camera and she placed the lense cap on the camera, as if to say, "I'm happy....Goodbye for now." Arianna, I can't wait to come and dance with you and the angels. We miss you, precious one. For now, we'll try to comfort your mommy and daddy until they can be with you, too. Please tell Jesus that we can't wait to see Him and we hope He'll come soon. We love you.

The Death of a Child

Today my heart aches for my friends. They are faithful pastors of a small country church and they have four beautiful little girls. Yesterday, they lost one of their daughters in a tragic car accident. She died at the scene. Her parents were several minutes behind the vehicle that she was riding in, so they came upon the accident shortly after it happened and found that their little Arianna was gone.

I cannot comprehend their pain and loss. It shakes me to the core. It doesn't shake my faith in God, but I certainly don't understand why He allowed it to happen. I know so many people who have experienced miraculous intervention, including this family, so why would God now allow this event in their lives? I believe that the enemy meant to destroy them, but I know that they will lean on God and gain greater strength and there will be great testimony that will come from this. Perhaps they can help others who have to go down that road. I don't know.

As a mom, I just can't imagine losing a child....the child that you carried in your womb and nurtured....the child that you fed and clothed, hugged and disciplined...the child whose eyes you once gazed into with wonder. All of that gone. At least for the moment. I know that Arianna is walking with her Shepherd. He is leading her beside still waters and she is running through the green pastures of His Kingdom. She is dancing with joy and she knows no pain. As parents, I guess we have to remember that Jesus cares more for our little ones than we do. I pray that God gives her parents a glimpse of the joy that she now dwells in. May Your Kingdom come and Your will be done......Come, Lord Jesus.

Sibling Rivalry

I just walked past my children's bedroom and I heard my daughter say, "Why did you just throw that grenade at me?!" I peeked in to see that they were playing a military game that my husband got for them to help them understand what their great-grandfather went through in the war. Nice history lesson, dad. Now they're bombing eachother. As I thought about this, it made me glad that my kids love eachother. Poor Father Abraham didn't have that convenience because of a hasty decision by his wife in which he listened to her and entered into the bed chamber with Hagar. "If God isn't going to get goin' on his promise, we'd better do something about it!" I wonder how many times I've done that to God.

Because of Abraham and Sarah's decision, we'll always see war between Israeli's and Arabs. They are the descendents of Isaac and Ishmael. Isaac, the promised child. Ishmael, the product of trying to hurry God's promises.

Christianity and Islam. Why are these the two largest 'religions' in the world. Isaac was blessed through Abraham. Even though Ishmael was not, Abraham still loved him....his son. He asked God to bless him as well. God did, but the consequences were still huge....even to this day. Sibling rivalry prevails.