Roses in the Briar Patch

The experience of life, so far, has left its marks deep inside of me, and it becomes more beautiful with each passing day. Mixtures of miraculous, joy-filled, blissful blessings, alongside of horrendous jolts of trauma that awakened and taunted my heart, hovering over my joy with threatening death...the twisting, turning, ever-changing journey whose finish line, upon looking back, reveals a straight line. He was with me. And He still is. And perhaps I am becoming more perfected in love, yet my soul knows well that it has not arrived on the shores of complete safety.

Let me clarify that there are many wonderful moments that will always be carried and cherished in my heart...countless people who kindly, in the midst of their own painful trials, went out of their way to leave a beautiful impression on me and my family. Every word of kindness and every action inspired by love will forever remind me of the goodness of God, especially when doubt tries to push its claws into my skin. Upon remembering life's pains and life's triumphs, I can only say that God IS faithful and His goodness shines even when we forget mankind's.

My reason for writing now is born out of adversity, not my own this time, but of others who have faithfully laid their hearts and lives bare, passionately serving and trusting those within the local church, only to find their families, friendships, and leaderships falling apart. Do not fear, however, for it is merely a passing moment of testing; a violent war that will be overcome with peace, joy, and renewed love, if only those bloodied soldiers will maintain a heart of gratitude...even gratitude for the suffering.

I write to those who walk with people and ARE people who carry great influence and anointing. I used to think that being on the front lines was dangerous. Then I believed it was the safest place to be. But life has taught me it is both. The 'front lines' are dangerous AND safe, depending on who you are surrounded by, and I mean within your own army.

Perhaps the naivete of men and, especially women, in church is to trust others to an unfair depth. Let me explain. This can be said for humanity as a whole, yet I will speak on behalf of women. When loving one another and befriending one another, we must always remain aware of one's ability to cause pain, and we must give the grace to let them do so, yet with the wisdom of serpents and harmlessness of doves. We must realize that every human carries a broken place or a void, that maybe they are not aware of, and that, eventually, that place in them may arise as it is rooted out by a loving, graceful God.

The rooting-out process sometimes hurts, seemingly beyond the ability to bear, depending on one's stubborness or desire to be teachable. Whichever the perpetrator chooses, the grace of Christ is strong enough to keep you as you either walk away or stand by...

Whatever your story, the end result of life's events can amount to immense joy and satisfaction; the ability to smile when revisiting good times, as well as bad. Believe it or not, there's beauty to be found in the dung hill. There's redemption to be witnessed by your eyes in the darkest, most putrid place. Ugliness can call itself a briar rose, even though it is merely the thistles that serve to draw our blood, wrench our gut, and shake our soul at a level that no one can comprehend...only to arrive in the light, where Love lives.

Life leaves impressions. You get to choose which kind. "The roses are found in the briar patch."

Redemption Trumps Perfection

Driving down the highway, pondering how different this Christmas season is...my first Christmas season without attending a church service...working on Christmas Eve and half of Christmas Day. My husband and I run a business in tourist territory, so we don't get to attend church. Working 7 days a week, 14 hours a day, is a great way to bring oneself to the threshold of exhaustion. However, the supernatural power of Love Himself never fails to awaken us with tender mercies, kisses from Heaven, and a constant nudging to draw close to Him.

All of these thoughts lead me to hearing His voice, saying, "Focus on the power of redemption instead of the ideal of perfection. For Redemption Himself stepped into imperfection in an imperfect way. He made the imperfect perfect. Focus on this redemption. It is to be celebrated this season." Selah

For Better or For Worse (written by my son)

My 17-year-old son amazes me with his words and wisdom. For such a young man, he has already learned so much that most of us adults could only wish we had learned long ago. My kids have lived a very unordinary life, with exposure to trials and challenges of humanity on a different level. I suppose that's what happens when you've been a preacher's kid; you not only deal with your personal hurdles, but everyone else's troubles are thrown onto your path and you're expected to overcome those as well... and when the preacher's family goes through its own trials, that's where one's faith and foundations are truly tested. If we stay focused on the right thing, that is when we grow stronger. Our life's experiences and encounters with others have taught Britain some valuable lessons. Now, carefully read Britain's article, 'For Better or For Worse.'

Stop...

Stop right where you are and discover with me for a moment something that has recently come to my attention.
But before you read any further, I want to warn you... What you are about to read, you will be making a commitment to. How does that work, you ask? Well, lets think about it... The very moment that a thought or and action enters your mind, you have made a small commitment to it in the way that you will keep that thought/action locked inside a part your mind for the rest of your life. The mind is a very powerful thing, and no matter how hard you try to forget what you have learned or seen, you will not be able to erase it without the use of science and medical technology. (Extreme pressure to the head and unspeakable trauma also cause certain kinds of Amnesia, but neither of those methods are recommended.) As a matter of fact, the more you try not to think about what you are reading and experiencing, the more you find yourself lost in thought about it. This is why horror movies are just so affective. It's just the way that things work.

So imagine with me, if you will, that every single thought you make from now on is a commitment. Your eyes have now been opened and you can think in a way that you have never been able to think before. Every time you hear a word or think a thought, that thought will be married to your mind, stuck inside of a memory card that is no healthy way erasable and cannot be easily manufactured. It is a device unlike any other in the universe and cannot be treated as if it does not matter. This is the thing that drives you, the thing that keeps you alive. The thing that is causing you to feel the cold or the warmth of the air around you, the thing that allows you to control your body, to keep charge of every fabric and fiber that makes up your being, it is the very thing that is allowing you to read these words right now, and when you are done reading do not be surprised if you feel a slight buzzing on either side of your skull, your brain is simply processing all of the information. It has soaked things in for years and paid much attention to the world around you, but it has not become super familiar with the fact that everything that it has studied, it has also married. There are now some things inside that your mind is wishing it would not have married. Some things that your body caused it to marry, a marriage that your soul wishes desperately to revoke. But the slight tug of war between your soul, your mind, and your body, is unlike any other that has ever been. They all work together, only with slight discretions, and sometimes work to destroy each other even without your knowing.

This is not all to say that you are simply at war with yourself, though I did lean toward that just slightly at the end of the last paragraph. It is more to let you in on the gravity of this situation rather than the nonexistent levity that you may have looked at this with in the beginning.


Most of the time when you run into something in life, you have a choice, a choice either to accept it or deny it. A choice to trash it or recycle it for your very own use... Building onto the typical garden analogy, any seed you plant, whether you nurture it or simply throw it into the dirt behind you, will most likely one day grow to become something great or small. Even if you do try to neglect it.
Thoughts are the exact same way. When you have the opportunity to accept or deny a thought, think carefully about what you do with it. Many people accept the thought, knowing that even if they neglect it, it will come back to bite them, so they might as well think it anyway. Others just put away the thought and try their best to replace it with something that is completely different, but many end up falling susceptible to that thought even though they made the choice not to think it.I myself, have many friends who struggle with their own thoughts and end up at war with them, stuck in a place where the mind has become their enemy rather than the thing that pushes them forward to live life and to be all that they were meant to be. And it is mostly because of all these marriages that they have made. There are very few divorces that take place between the mind and a thought, and inconveniently, all the divorces that do take place happen to be with the things that we are SUPPOSED to remember! This is one strange thing I have not yet figured out; the mysteries of the mind will always intrigue me...

I could go on with growing and endless thoughts for hours, but for the sake of the reader, I will cut to the chase... There is a saying that you will find in almost any wedding vows, and it goes something like this... "For better or worse..." Imagine when you marry a thought, that you have said to that thought, those very words. "For better or for worse..." Then ask yourself if that thought will do you good... or bad. Will you turn that thought away, or will you accept it and feed it from day to day? Then when you have found yourself betrothed to a thought that seems to be working only for worse, ask yourself how you can make it a thought for the better things.
Truly, the only long-lasting way of making a bad thought work for the better, is to meet that thought with the Holy Spirit, and to look at it in His light... In His light only.

If you want to take this all a step further, imagine the marriages that you create every time you think of God and His goodness. Imagine how many thoughts of you He has made such beautiful commitments to. He said that His thoughts of you outnumber the sand. According to His words, no one, in mind, body, soul, or spirit, can make a bigger commitment to you than He already has. He has married you already...

You...


Are his Bride.


-Britain V.
11-12-11
5:11pm

1:30AM

Tonight, as I entered the welcoming caress of our bed after staying up too late, unable to put down Jason Vallotton's "Supernatural Power of Forgiveness," the warmth of your body next to mine and the sound of the air conditioning vent overhead brought back a rush of memories. Suddenly, I was taken back in time...a time when life was simply, simple. As I closed my eyes, I could hear the click of the heater and I could smell the strangely comforting fragrance of dust being burned off the coils...you know, like the first time you run your heater after a long summer. It is the aroma that I associate with the welcoming of winter. The reassurance of a cozy, warm refuge and the knowledge that Christmas is right around the corner with its tinsel, lights, and beauty; it all speaks, 'life is good and your family is blessed. There IS joy in the midst of a crazy world.' I remember those nights, after tucking our two little children into bed (and I loved the way you sang to them every night), you and I would retreat to our own private refuge, which by morning, would be invaded by a dog, a cat and two children whose sweet faces would welcome us when we awakened.

Tonight, I lie here, wanting to wake you up and share these joyful memories with you, but I know how exhausted you were just an hour ago, so I choose to simply relish in the moment. I thought, "I'll write him an email about it before I forget," but I did not want to disturb your sleep with my movement. So I write this upon waking up, and I decide to post it on my blog as a permanent record of God's reminder to me of a life that was simple...a reminder that treasures of the past can be found again. As we embark on this adventure of starting a business that may consume our time and attention for months to come, I realize that God is saying, "All is well. There is safety and I am your refuge. And Christmas is right around the corner. Enjoy life." So, whatever lies ahead, we can rest in simplicity in the middle of complexity, and we can live in serendipity regardless of moments that did not go as planned...because God is still God...and I know He still loves us. :)

Jesus Wept...and Snorted

Several months ago, I was attending a church service when one of the worship songs sparked a memory that flooded me with sorrow. I went to the restroom and made it into the stall before a huge sob escaped from my lungs. I was thankful that there was a speaker above my head, flooding the restroom with worship music, giving me a safe place to cry, hopefully where I'd be unheard by some compassionate woman who might knock on the door with an 'are you okay in there?' I wanted to be left alone.

The cry that came from me was so deep, groaning, and heavy that it actually gave me chest pains. I was not only flooded with sorrow over a situation, but also with what I'd like to call 'righteous anger' over that situation. I kept saying, "God, forgive me for being angry. How long? How long? How long will it take to stop feeling anger over the way some of YOUR people treat others? God, what is it about YOUR children that makes them so retarded? How can YOU let them be so stupid? Why don't YOU intervene the way I think You should? But God...please forgive me for my wrong attitudes. Why can't I seem to stop crying right now? Jesus...please talk to me."

I heard, almost audibly, "Jesus wept." I thought, "Well, of course, I know that story. He wept over Lazarus...and for the sorrow of Lazarus' family and friends." Again, I heard, "Jesus wept." A third time, "Jesus wept."

After I composed myself and dried my eyes, I went back into the church service. Worship ended and the pastor began to speak about such a deep sorrow and righteous anger that brought him to the word 'Ebrimaomai.' The pastor said, "Let's turn to the scriptures about Lazarus and explore the verse, 'Jesus wept.'" Wow! He had my attention. Ebrimaomai is the Greek word that was used in that section of scripture and it means, 'to snort, express indignant displeasure (with the notion of coercion springing out of displeasure, anger, indignation, antagonism) to snort like a horse...to be moved with anger, to admonish sternly. From 'en' and brimoamai--to snort with anger, to blame, to sigh with chagrin, sternly enjoin, straitly charge, and to groan.

I took comfort in those words I heard in the restroom, 'Jesus wept.' I realized that God was right there with me, fully understanding the righteous indignation and sorrow that I felt. Jesus sobbed his heart out, too. He snorted. I realized that Jesus was not only moved with compassion in Lazarus' situation, but by an indignation against the injustice of what should not be. So, that is why I cried. And we should all feel that level of indignation against the injustice of what should not be. That is why we were given the authority to go and release prisoners and captives as Jesus did, releasing the reality of His sacrifice, so that He gets what He paid for. He came to bring life, restoration and wholeness, and to counter the death, loss, and destruction that befell His creation...and He continues to release love even while people give themselves to that which opposes Him. That is courageous grace. It's no wonder He wept the way He did. I will remember and be moved by that cry every time I encounter that which should not be.

Familiarity Breeds Love

Awhile back, as I struggled with a friend's less-than-desirable behavior, I prayed and lamented. This conversation began in my head with God:

"Traci, you must be grace to this person."

"I cannot. It's too much. You do it Yourself, God. You're pretty good at that anyway. Besides, haven't You heard that familiarity breeds contempt? Why get close to people?"

"That is not true. In an atmosphere of grace, familiarity breeds love."

That struck me to the core as I was then faced with the decision to come into agreement with Jesus' sacrifice for that person. Would I be a grace-giver? Today, I remind myself of that moment because I need to remember that He once called me 'Courageous Grace.' I want to live up to that name.

The Inevitable

The sun entwines itself with the gentle winds, carrying a sweet reminder that the love and grace of God breaks the power of what man calls 'the inevitable,' making it null and void, allowing room for the Creator's 'inevitable' to manifest. I smile. And I cannot thank Him enough.